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I’ve put off writing about the Xbox 360 mainly because I am overwhelmed by the intricacies of the system. That isn’t to say the box is complicated, as in fact, quite the opposite is true. My tardiness is because I have a difficult time expressing the weight of the realization that one day I may indeed never be required to leave my couch again.

This is the chain of events that led to that epiphany.

I picked up the controller. I turned on the console. I raced my Ferrari F50 GT in Project Gotham, talked with my friends, listened to my own music, all at once, yet I was the only one in the room. I was done playing games, so watched some old recorded episodes of Family Guy. I realized that I was a half an hour late to turn on the hockey game, so I started watching it… from the beginning. I watched replays when the TV network showed none. The Detroit Red Wings lost to the Calgary Flames, and I cried. To comfort myself, I played Kameo, got sleepy, shut off the console, and set down the controller.

Notice what is absent from that last paragraph. I did not have to use other remotes, cable boxes, tapes, or VCRs. I used the controller, the *entire* time. The only times my buttocks left the cushion was when I fetched a beer, and when I changed the game disc from Project Gotham 3 to Kameo.

Be warned though, that the true gravitational power of the couch for any Xbox 360 owner is directly linked to whether or not they own a Media Center. If such isn’t the case, you’ll be forced to commit such banal acts as setting down your controller for another remote, watching commercials, braving the cable guide, exempting yourself from watching Intarweb videos on your TV, and other lewd and reprehensible acts.

Ok, enough of that. Next up: Kameo reviews and the little things about the 360 that make it clear that the day our consoles cook and serve food is still far far away…